Rachael’s Blog

I know i have been very slack in keeping in with my blog, if i am going to be honest, life is getting in the way of finding time.

Since i last wrote, i have been waiting to get some more reds, but because my doctor is on holiday i have to wait, as i am not sure if any other would keep me on them. However i have decided to stop moping about it, and change my thinking and life because if i dont do it now i never will, life is too short to keep indulging myself with bad food.

 So i have now 3 jobs, 2 are the same but you have to apply separately, i am still waiting to get one in the day but nothing has come up yet even though i have applied for 3. Time will tell. Thinks seem to be going OK, the stress is still on as we need to find a lot of money in a short space of time but i think we might be able to do it (Just) i hope we can - no think positive - i know we can.

Tomorrow i am starting a new eating, i have some reds left so hopefully i will get to see the doctor, and get some more, then start but having a smoothly in the morning, followed by either 1 or 2 Cambridge shakes then a meal. as i found i was not eating lunch, i thought it best to have something rather than nothing because then i can get the nutritions i need.

so i will post more regularly with up dates this time…..

I have been so busy with stress that i have forgot to write on my blog and that is why i have probably slipped up.

It has been 16 days since i last wrote anything and in the time the ups and downs have been immense. I am desperate to find a job to help my husband, we have had to admit to our parents that we are having problems, my mum cant help and tries to help, where as Martins parents don’t seem to grasp how bad things are, i suppose it is because they think Martin would never let it happen and because they have never been in this situation, where as my mum has. I am hoping that we can turn things around come 1st Oct.

I have 2 jobs already i am just awaiting a crb form to come back with the all clear, then i can start but i am still looking for a day job, and i have 2 interviews for evening work coming up soon. So fingers crossed xx

Well enough of my problems back to the weigh loss, strange as i have not been on the reds for just over a week, and i am still loosing and i have not been eating properly (tell a lie i have been eating very poorly) however i have just hit 100kg, and i have found that i am skipping a meal so i am going to try Cambridge for the meals i miss in hope that this will help my weight loss too, as this is the time where my weight does not move. So here we go ……………………… 5kg down 33kg to go

Jeeees, i thought i had dry mouth 9 days ago but boy was i wrong, now i can understand why people drink 4 litres a day. My mouth is like the Sahara desert, and feels like if i don’t drink my lips will have cracks as big as the grand canyon. Phew, and the nightmare that comes with drinking, yes you got it, running-to the loo. Great huh the things we have to do to loose a few pounds.

Well my CV paid off yesterday, i received a phone call regarding one position, but i missed the call so i am awaiting a call back. Fingers crossed and doubly crossed as it could mean good money and an end to our worries.

I was told that i needed to drink more in order to keep loosing weight. D’oh! last time i take that advice. I have found a nice sparkling low cal drink by tescos and managed a litre yesterday great i thought, then i shed a litre in poo!!! suppose its all good if i keep loosing, but might buy some incontinent pants hahaha.

Spent ages looking through jobs, applied for 3, its just so depressing (not because i don’t want to work) but just the looking, when you don’t want something there is loads, then when you do there is bugger all. typical. Mind you i have to look on the bright side those i have gone for i have been offered an interview for every single one, so i must have some good qualities somewhere. i am also keeping my options open as to what to go for.

 I have now decided to stay with customer service and build up my youth profile so that in the long run i can apply for a great job when my kids are in school. well better dash …………………………………………………………

Hm-mm not sure why but i feel down when i should be really happy as i have lost 4kg in 1 week which takes me to 101kg and taking me 1lb past 16st but for some reason i feel down.

Maybe its because i was hoping for more than what i got yesterday even though i am grateful for what i received (i didn’t get the permanent youth position but they offered me a temporary disabled youth position till Xmas) i just constantly feel i am letting my husband down. I need to get work to keep the children in school so bills can be paid etc, but time is slow.

I was offered an interview today but i will  have to turn it down as it is too far and the pay will not be worth it.  So i will keep searching its just hard to keep motivated.

Even though i woke up tired this morning, once i was up i felt i had a lot of energy even though everything is being sapped out of me. I am quite excited about getting weighed in 2 days but also upset as my daughter goes back to school tomorrow, and i will miss her dreadfully, yes she can be rude but she lights up the room with her infectious laugh and bright smile.

Well i have managed to get everything ready, so hubby leaves on time, Becky has everything she needs, and my suit is ready for my interview tomorrow. i wonder if now everything is ready will it run smoothly.

Side effect: still have the trots, sometimes become nausea but not as bad as it was and now i have found out i definitely dont drink enough grrrr i hate drinking. weigh in in 2 days

Woke this morning, very early and took 45 Min’s to pluck up the courage to wake my husband (wink, wink) then fell back to sleep to wake again feeling a lot better and happier.

I have lost 2 kg and 3 inches all in 5 days however the biggest challenge is to get past 102kg which hopefully will happen over the next week or so. The wind has definitely changed and life feels better.

 Took my daughter to see bratz (not a bad movie) and thought if i didn’t eat before i went i would be OK, d’oh, i had a small amount of popcorn, but when i had some sprite, i ended missing the best bit of the film by dashing to the loo. Will it ever get easier?

all in all though a bit day but my nibbles came back last night and i had some cheesecake, admittedly it was smaller than my usual portion so not all back, and still feel like a cat on heat (which of cause hubby loves as i have not been near him in 6 months)

Well what can i say, my husband kept me wake through the night with his snoring, so i did not get any rest from the toilet, then when i finally fall asleep he wakes me at 7.30am to get the post!!! does he have no clue what i am going through?

So as you can see from my title the tablets are in my system to say the least. After visiting the toilet 11 times yesterday and 3 times in the night i was hoping for a rest this morning but no and that’s before i have eaten. I am tempted to give up as this feels like hell, but i will persist for a full week and see what happens. I just hope the day gets better not worse.

13.30pm could it be that my ring is cooling and that my side effects are easing???? i think so. I read up on my problems and found that eating regular helps nausea, and carbs help with the dashing to the loo. So i had a small bowl of rice crispies this morning, then at lunch had half a bowl of beef & veg soup with half a wholemeal roll (have to admit i was not hungry at all but forced the issue) and so far so good.

16.30pm just when i thought it was safe, yes i decided to take the kids strawberry picking this afternoon, and what happens i get caught short !!! hm-mm dare i admit i had to go to the toilet in a field!!  no toilets around for miles. Thankfully there was no one else and no CCTV. (you would have thought i had known better after yesterday)

 However i do have to say i feel better, not for going in a field but in general.

Woke up feeling extremely tired, felt like i had not slept at all, but manage to make myself a strong coffee in hope to wake up.

Forgot to have breakfast not that i felt like it, perhaps the tablets have kicked in. However i need to get to grips with this eating as i know if i don’t eat properly i will start to loose my hair again as i did when i was on lighter life. So i am going to weight watchers in the morning, so at least i am monitored with food.

Now has my dashing to loo any better (god NO) i took the kids out to get some school shoes for my son, and on the way back i realised i need the toilet. Lets just say i ONLY just made it home in time. I have not had dry mouth or insomnia nor have i had any constipation. let hope that kicks in soon. So i am playing safe and staying at home this afternoon.

Cant say the rest of the day got any better if anything it got worse, i had dinner thought i felt better then ended up dashing to the toilet again, and before going to bed i started to feel sick. Something tells me my side effects have kicked in.